Tuesday, July 02, 2013

Watch Your Language

Quebec, currently a province within Canada, has a minority government dedicated to separating from Canada to create its own country.

To that end the separatists do their best to alienate English-speaking residents. The ultimate aim of these fascists is for English-speaking Quebeckers to leave the province. Why? Because the English-speaking people tend to vote in referendums for the federal government and against separation.

To annoy English-speakers the separatists focus on limiting the English language in the workplace, schools and wherever else that strikes their fancy. Their rationale is that they are protecting the French language (spoken by the majority of Quebec residents). The government devotes $24.7 million annually to a special "police" force that investigates complaints about the absence of French or the predominance of English.

This narrow-mindedness, not mention, xenophobic behaviour, has led to some hilarious events. Such as:

Pastagate

An Italian restaurant was ordered to print a French version of the word "Pasta".

Pastrygate

A pastry store was ordered to adapt its multilingual "welcome" sign so that French would be three times the size of the other languages.

Turbangate

Little Sikh boys were forbidden to play soccer while wearing their turbans (a religious requirement) despite the approval of FIFA, the world soccer federation.

Spoongate

A yoghurt shop had its plastic spoons confiscated because the wording on them was in English only.